How to Tell If I’m Trans

Are you transgender? How do you know?

Understanding yourself and becoming the most whole version of yourself starts with figuring out who you are inside, and how you relate to other people. Gender is a huge part of that. 

If you’re questioning your gender, you might be transgender - but that can mean different things. 

Transgender is an umbrella term that includes many different identities you can consider:

• Nonbinary people don’t relate to either gender
• Genderqueer people mix gender representation 
• If you’re gender fluid, you move between multiple genders

Just determining that you are NOT cis can be a revelation.

You don’t need to pinpoint your identity right away. It can be relaxing and affirming to accept that you don’t fit into the box you were placed in.

That’s a great starting point!

Unpacking Resistance to Being Trans

If you’re asking this question, you’ve probably been hiding this part of yourself.

Or maybe you didn’t even consider it, because you didn’t see representation. Or worse, you saw a negative representation of trans people.

If you want to know “how to tell if I’m trans”, it starts by unpacking that resistance and questioning the views and assumptions you have. 

Being trans can be good!

Culturally, societally, and personally there are a lot of reasons we are kept from seeing and accepting our true identities. Sometimes it is due to prejudice. Sometimes we just don’t come in contact with the information that we need.

How to Tell if You’re Trans

The only way to know whether you are trans is to look inside yourself. 

For a lot of people, the realization that they are trans isn’t a one-time lightbulb moment - it’s a series of realizations over time.

You don’t need to sit down and figure out your gender in one sitting - and to be honest, that’s not all that realistic. Instead, you can explore things over time that feel good and bring happiness.

Ask yourself:

• What is calling out to me? What do I see around me that I want to embrace more?

• What clothes or fashion interest me, and might be fun to try out?

• What mannerisms, speech, or actions do I like and want to copy?

• How would having a different name or different pronouns feel? 

Experimenting can give you a new perspective and new data that will help you understand yourself better.

If you love how something feels, you can expand that and do more of it.

If there is something that seemed like a good idea in theory but doesn’t feel good in real life, that’s okay too. It’s good to know what you don’t like.

Listen to the voice inside of you that is calling out for change, and give yourself a chance to experiment with your feelings.

If you can’t experiment in these ways openly, you can still try out things safely in private, alone, or with a trusted partner. 

Even if you can only try out things in your imagination, the exercise of visualizing and imagining scenarios can help you figure out how you feel. 

The Getting-To-Know-Yourself Process

Whether you are transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, gender fluid, or even just cis - the process of getting to know yourself is a beautiful journey that is worth taking.

Asking yourself these questions is a way to understand yourself better, no matter what you find out.

You don’t need to be 100% certain that you are transgender to start experimenting with new ways of being. Experimenting might be the best way to figure out you are trans!

If you would like to talk to other trans people about this and find community resources, join the discord community. Every day trans people are helping each other, supporting each other, and answering each other’s questions there. If you want my latest, exclusive, insider updates, join the email list so you don’t miss anything, and remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel to get notified when new videos come out.

It can be hard to know how you truly feel about your gender, especially when society discourages trans people from accessing that part ourselves. 

Experimenting with the fashion, mannerisms, names, and pronouns that interest you is one of the best ways to decide what you really want.